Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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