sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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