how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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