this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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