WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
