If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
