According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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