They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
