Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Your penis caused this!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
