Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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