ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
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