If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
