I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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