new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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