...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
