There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I still have a little drunk in my system
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize