I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I feel great
I just peed on a car
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
