Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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