I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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