Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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