Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
