i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize