We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
