Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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