pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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