I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
