booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
