So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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