im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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