He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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