he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
