yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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