dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
