oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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