So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
