Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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