Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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