"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
