operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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