the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
