You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
