when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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