She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
