I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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