Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
