i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
