I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
