This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
