Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
