oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
