Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize