It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
