You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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