Duck Duck Cougar?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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