Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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