I think i peed on brittanys purse
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
