while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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