Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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