I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
