Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
