Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
