why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
