I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
