i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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