I can tuck mytits in my pants
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
