Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
